If you have been to one of my seminars or classes, you would know that I stress that husbands should love their wives. It is like a broken record. I do this because the Bible commands us to love our wives. In most cases we all took a vow before God and others to do just that: love our wife. But, does loving our wife really work? Yes it does. Let me give you some explanation. Especially for those who feel they have tried "love" and found it lacking. Love is a verb. Many of us feel they love their wife, or do so inwardly, but actually stopped showing love - by action - a long time age. Many who complain, are basing the complaint on old data. I tried (in the past, years ago), and now it is not working. People change. Both you and your wife have changed. Husbands NEED TO ASK THEIR WIFE how to demonstrate love in the present and then actually do that loving behavior. Thirteen years ago she wanted you to do the dishes. Don't start doing them today and expect for love to work. Find out that she needs you to do today. Ask her. Get the new list, such as; pay attention to your kids, stop watching tv, fix the house or car, take her on a date, etc, and then try those activities ASAP. What if she doesn't deserve my love? Another complaint involves the wife not respecting the husband first. You should go first whether she deserves it or not. Christ sought us and died for us when did not deserve it either. We most model Christ by loving our wife when she does not deserve it. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Neither me nor my wife really deserve love, but we desparptely need it. Your wife needs your love regardless of how she is "measuring up". Maybe the respect will start when you start loving her. What if my wife doesn't do anything I want her to do. She doesn't do the laundry, make meals, have enough or any sex with me, etc. Leaders are leaders because they lead. They go first. You start by doing the things she most desires (find out what that is) and then wait. If you love first it will work. |